


it's all worth it

by soibean



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soibean/pseuds/soibean
Summary: “Little boy, everything costs a price. I’ll make your life better, but that means you’ll give me your memories. You’ll forget everything, at the same time, everyone will forget you. Now, now, now. Tell me, do you still want it?”





	it's all worth it

**Author's Note:**

> yay! new fic released! i was actually having a hard time writing stories since i was broke. and i broke my phone by letting it swim in my soup two months ago. luckily, i successfully snatched my mom's phone from her (lol don't report me) and bought a new sim card bcos i had lost mine. (that simcard was my only number that i have memorized sighs)
> 
> anyways thanks for reading!!!!!! comments are appreciated and also i apologize for my mistakes. wrote it @ 12am-3am sighs. i'll edit it later or tmr anw thanks again!!!!

“Kim Yoonha, I-I really like y-you. Please d-date me!” Daehwi had gathered all his courage to confess to the girl in front of him. Lee Yoonha, the prettiest girl of their school.

 

Holding the flowers tight, he shuts his eyes, waiting for the other’s answer. Soon, he felt the girl pulling the flowers from his hands, he looks up with a surprised face. The girl smiles at him, and led him up. “Daehwi-ah,” she pauses.

 

“You’re so ugly. How could you think I’d date you? Have you ever seen your face? You’re disgusting as fuck! You disgust me so much, and I’m even more that you confessed to me. Who would even want to date you? You’re so nobody,” the girl hisses, throwing the flower to Daehwi’s face.

 

Daehwi, bit his lips, “But, I t-thought, you’re the o-only one whose kind to me,” he said, desperation in his eyes.

 

“It’s for my reputation, you’re such a fool. You know what? I won’t ever date you even if you’re the only man alive. You’re fat, ugly, disgusting. Look at those acnes eating your face, you don’t even have a perfect teeth, who styles their hair like that? You’re just a total nerd,” Yoonha pauses, before rolling her eyes as she walked away from the scene.

 

Daehwi felt his knees wobble. It hurts more when the girl you liked, told you those things. It wasn’t actually uncommon for Daehwi to hear those things, he’s always been a target for bullies. He wipes his stained cheeks, before standing up. He was about to walk when he felt a strong grip on the back of his uniform.

 

He knew who it was. Park Gitae, his notorious bully.

 

“Where do you think you’re going, you shitface?” a shiver had ran through his spine as he felt Gitae’s hands moving to his nape.

 

Soon, he found himself flew to the corner. “H-Hyung, what ha-have I done?” he asks, his thin arms forms an x, trying to protect his frame.

 

He felt the grip on his chin, “What have you done?” a punch, “how dare you,” another punch, “bother our Yoonha?” and another, “you’re such a retard.”

 

Even before he could wince he felt a wood hit his back, soon, he was on the floor, curled as he accepts all the punches and kicks. He was hurting so much that he felt numb.

 

Gitae who was watching the boy’s misery, had gone up, and took a fist of Daehwi’s hair, pulling him up. “You’re a sucker,” and he felt the burning of his bleeding cheek when the older had pressed his lit cigarette on Daehwi’s face.

 

He was thrown back to the ground, Daehwi screaming in pain as he felt hot fluids streaming down his face. The mob of boys had immediately left the scene, not before one last kick that made Daehwi roll over.

 

-

 

“I’m asking you, what happened to your face, Lee Daehwi?” his mother asked again. She had asked him that since the time he had arrived, and she heard no response from his son. The boy looked up, and turned away again.

 

Before the boy could even make a step, his mother had pulled his hand, “Lee Daehwi, answer me.”

 

He could feel the tears building up on his eyes, he threw his mother’s hands, “If I told you what happened, are you going to make any actions? Mom, no! Because, why? We’re poor! We can’t fight those rich people, even though we have evidences of them abusing us. Why? Because, we have no money! Just leave me alone. I hate you! I hate you so much, so leave me alone!”

 

A smack. And another one. “Lee Daehwi, you! If only you didn’t killed your father! How dare you? If it wasn’t for you, your father would have lived! It was your fault why he died, when it was supposed to be you who should’ve died! Why can’t you just die? I tried so much to care for you, but everytime I see your face, I remember those times! And, I could only feel the hatred for you. You’re not my son,” his mother pushes him, smacking his chest.

 

Daehwi was now sobbing. Crying loudly. He runs away. He runs to wherever his feet takes him.

 

He felt numb, he doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care even if he looked like a monster, a puffed face, bruised, and bleeding, his tears and snot mixed. His mind were filled with thoughts. The thoughts of everything. He wanted to die.

 

He finds himself on an abandoned building. Atop of an abandoned building.

 

_No one cares about me. Unless, I die. But then, even though I die, they wouldn’t care._

 

He finds a piece of smashed glass in the corner. He sat. Staring at his bruised arms, it was bleeding, some stopped but the violet and green bruises makes a beautiful combination. He swished the glass on his wrist. It made a long red line laced on his wrist. And, another one. It was bleeding like crazy. He started slicing it faster, frustration rising on his head.

 

“Why? Why can’t I die?” he shouts to his wrist. His arms were now full of fresh slices.

 

With a bleeding arm, he used it as an support to step atop the pavement. The night scene of their city is beautiful. It was mesmerizing.

 

He graps his phone from his pocket, texting his mother one last thing: _sorry._

 

Soon, the sirens of the cars were heard. It’s getting louder and louder, the city below him was getting clearer and clearer. Until…

 

“Somebody help him!”

-

_“You’re awake,”_

 

_Daehwi kept his eyes shut. He doesn’t want to wake up yet. He doesn’t want to go to school, and face the same people again. He doesn’t want to be laughed again._

 

_“Daehwi, I know you’re awake,”_

 

_It was a voice. A foreign one, it wasn’t his mother’s voice. Nor was it from his alarm. And, its voice was… from a man._

 

_He tried recalling the events before. He knew he ran away, and went to some building. He wanted to die, then. And, he did. And…_

 

_“Am I dead? Finally?” he shoots up, his eyes wide. His eyes roamed around every corner of the room — a room. And it was white, there aren’t any accessories no windows, nor doors. The thing is, everything seemed glowing._

 

_He knew he wasn’t supposed to be in heaven, they don’t accept souls who died intentionally, to what Daehwi knew._

 

_“Hmm, no? I guess, or yes? But, that’s not the case. You’re just alive, but dead, got it? Got it? Ah no — I didn’t even got what I said,” he was met by an ethereal figure, the man was just as the same height as his, yet with more toned frame, and totally, more handsome than his. The boy, looked like a real life angel. Wearing a black and white sweater, paired with a white jeans._

 

_“Anyways, this thing is like, what do you call it?” he pauses, scratching his chin, “reincarnation something,” he says before letting out a laugh, that made Daehwi pause. Did the boy just made his heart beat? With a laugh? But then, the boy was too beautiful, he loves how his face carved into a perfect masterpiece — he was truly an angel._

 

_“I’m just kidding,” the boy immediately returned to his stoned face, and Daehwi almost frowned. He blinks, one, two. Oh shoot!_

 

_“Anyways! Shouldn’t I be dead? I don’t want to live anymore. I killed myself, because I hate living. What do you really want?” his eyesbrows perks up._

 

_“Oh oh, chill. I’m not here for something bad. Actually, the question is. What do you want?”_

 

_Daehwi crosses his arms, looking at the man suspiciously, “alright, alright. I’m actually your guardian angel. And I’ve done a terrible job so far, that’s why, I saved you. As of now, you’re anew person. It’s like, resetting._

 

_It’ll give you another life, a chance to live a good life. Although, I couldn’t promise that there’d be no sufferings and down times, but nevertheless, a better one.” the boy explains, sitting beside Daehwi, crossing his legs as he looked at the other._

 

_“And, why should I trust you?”_

 

_“Because, I am your guardian angel. It just ended up I didn’t made a good job, but this time, I wanted to do something for you. But, I couldn’t do it without something to sacrifice,”_

 

_“Sacrifice?” Daehwi asks._

 

_The boy nodded, “Little boy, everything costs a price. I’ll make your life better, but that means you’ll give me your memories. You’ll forget everything, at the same time, everyone will forget you. Now, now, now. Tell me, do you still want it?”_

 

_Daehwi takes a deep breath, nodding, he says, “I’ll accept your offer.” And, that was the last thing he have heard before he felt drowsy, and soon he was eaten by the darkness._

 

-

 

“Hwi,” he felt a light pat on his shoulder. “Daehwi,” another pat, “Hwi, wake up,” he felt his body being shaken. “Lee Daehwi, wake the heck up!” he shoots up when he felt an unbearing pain on his shoulder blades.

 

“Woojin-hyung, that hurts!” he hisses before kicking the older off his bed. Park Woojin, 19, they’ve been bestfriends since middle school, and they ends up enrolling in the same music and arts school, and eventually learned they were dormmates.

 

“You deserve it, I told you not to stay up late yesterday, but you did!”

 

“My classes starts at 11, why do you have to wake me up so early?” he asks, rubbing the sleep off his eyes, yawning and stretching.

 

He heard the older heave a sigh, crossing his arms, he looked at Daehwi in disbelief, “I still don’t know how’ve you became the student council’s president,” Woojin blew the bangs off his forehead, “you have to tour the new boy at 8, right?”

 

Daehwi’s eyes widen, slapping his forehead and muttering a curse before jumping to the bathroom. Fifteen minutes, and Daehwi was ready to go. He rushes down the stairs, running to their school, not without bidding a goodbye to his roommate.

 

Panting, he arrived to the school within a 10-minute walk, which was minimized to a 7-minute run.

 

He felt his knees wobble, he continuously inhaled and exhaled throughout the walk to the council room. He closes his eyes, and let his body drop on the floor as he reached the entrance.

 

“Hi, you must be Lee Daehwi,” he heard, looking up, he saw a new face, small head, timid expression, his frame was similar to his. And, he must admit, the boy was cute.

 

He nods, standing up, “So, I suppose you’re Bae Jinyoung, right?” he asks, to be reassured, and the boy nods in agreement, “Great. Anyways, I’m sorry I was late, I kind of overslept. But, I’m not usually this tardy, a’ight? I’m actually responsible, that’s why I was elected as the council’s president,” he explained, scratching his nape. The boy only nodded, and he continued looking at the floor.

 

Soon, they started walking around the campus, passing by almost every rooms, they would stop by some drinking fountains (because Daehwi gets exhausted easily), but nevertheless Daehwi had managed to explain every bits of their campus within their 2-hours tour. The younger then took him to the dean’s office, as they had to get Jinyoung’s schedule and his nametag.

 

Soon, the bell has rung, signifying the start of classes. He had helped Jinyoung, and explained the things that the boy couldn’t understand throughout the hours and after, it was already lunch.

 

He leads Jinyoung to their gymnasium, heading behind the curtains up the stage.

 

“Lee Daehwi, y-you’re kind of popular, a-ain’t it? Everyone seemed too familiar of you,” Jinyoung states, putting his lunch box out.

 

The younger shakes his head, “I am not, or I guess so? I just like befriending people, it seemed as if I’ve never had friends that’s why I’m so afraid of being alone,” Daehwi sighs, “but then, I was never alone since? I may have been an orphan, but I still have the kids and the nuns back in the chapel,” he puts his hands inside his bag, and pats every corner, only to find no lunchbox inside. He mumbled a curse, he forgot his food.

 

“Oh,” Jinyoung could only say, he looks at the other before opening his food, “don’t you have a packed food?” he asked after analyzing the boy sat in front of him.

 

Daehwi could only muster an awkward smile before nodding, “I forgot it,” he mumbles, “but you know, don’t worry, I have eaten breakfast awhile ago,” he lied, and the older nodded before opening his lunch.

 

They heard a growl, and Daehwi immediately covered his tummy before cursing in the air. The air was filled with silence until a very sweet laugh resonated on the whole gymnasium.

 

“O? You laughed,” Daehwi points at the wrinkled face of Jinyoung, he was mesmerized of the boy’s eyes, how it turned into crescents when he laughed, the way his lips curves so pretty, and his laugh… it sounded familiar yet unfamiliar.

 

“What do you think of me? Stone? I laugh as well,” he pouts.

 

“No, it’s just — you’re so pretty…” Daehwi whispers to himself, loud enough to make Jinyoung flush. They were met again by an icy silence, the both looking away from each other upon realizing what happened.

 

Until the older broke the cold, “You should probably eat mine, it was my fault you forgot to bring your lunch. I can just buy my food,” Jinyoung stood, and in a second, he disappeared.

 

As soon as the boy was out of sight, Daehwi released an air he never knew he was holding. He puts his hands to his chest, _is this what they say falling in love?_ He thought. He grabs his red cheeks before huffing, his heart beats so hard and fast that in any minute, it’ll run off his chest.

 

_Am I falling in love?_

 

-

 

Throughout the first four months, it was great for Daehwi and Jinyoung. The older boy’s excelling well on their classes along with Daehwi, they would spend their free times going on coffee shops and study together. Their whole school had seen the two’s closeness, they would stare at them in awe. Everyone knew that Daehwi wasn’t that hard to get close with, yet, it was hard to gain Daehwi’s trust. The boy may have acted clingy with you, but he wouldn’t actually trust you to tell you about his days and all.

 

However, to Daehwi, Jinyoung was special. Unlike the other students, he was like a pandora box, mysterious. He can’t seem to read Jinyoung, and everytime, the boy never fails to surprise Daehwi with his unexpected actions. Everything was foreign of Jinyoung. Hiding beneath his stoic expression, Daehwi knew deep inside, the boy was just longing for something he could never know.

 

That’s why he trusts Jinyoung so much.

 

He was currently standing in front of the closed gates of their school, he was waiting for Jinyoung. The sun had already set, and left the oranges transits to blue as the moon peeks from above. “Lee Daehwi,” he heard a familiar voice, turning around to see a boy, similar to his height, wearing another unreadable expression as he runs towards Daehwi. Before they could even exchange greetings, the older boy had grabbed his hands they continued running, hand in hand.

 

Daehwi doesn’t know how to react, he doesn’t care wherever Jinyoung takes him, he trusts him. The latter’s hands felt like a hot chain wrapped on his thin wrist, Jinyoung releases so much warmth, it was addicting.

 

As they continue running somewhere, Daehwi’s eyes remained at Jinyoung’s wide back. It made him feel happy, and despite the tiring run, he still felt the foreign beating of his heart.

 

He was too focused of the boy’s backview that he missed a small bump on the sidewalk, making him trip and fall. He winces in pain as he felt his elbow and knees hit the pavement. Jinyoung turns around, shock of the fall. “Shit, I’m sorry,” the older whispers, and checking Daehwi’s bruises. The latter smiles sweetly, making the older look away. “Hop in,” Jinyoung commands as he turned to his back, sighing when he felt no weight yet, “the bus stop’s near, I can’t let you walk anymore with a bruised knee. Hurry up, we can’t miss the bus,” he explained, and Daehwi felt his face flush into red, but still hops on Jinyoung’s back.

 

They reached the bus stop, and fortunately, the bus have yet to leave. They sat side by side, Daehwi by the window, and Jinyoung beside him. An hour and a half ride was silent, when they were about to get off, Jinyoung almost carried the smaller boy, but Daehwi insisted of walking.

 

“Good morning, Jinyoung-goon, oh, is he your boyfriend?” a woman in her 30’s (Daehwi assumed) greeted them, the both’s faces turns into crimson red before shaking their heads. Jinyoung did the introduction for Daehwi, and it was the first time he have seen the older speak more than nine to ten words.

 

Soon, they were led inside the small house, where old grandfathers and grandmothers are staying. They were the old people who were abandoned or were left by their families. They greeted the two cheerfully, despite some had a hard time speaking their greetings. The both bows politely.

 

“Hey, Daehwi-ah, I had to go check on Mrs. Ahn. Can you watch Mrs. Lee for me? She tends to be cranky, but if you batted an eye away from her for a minute, I’m afraid she’ll disappear again,” one of the caretakers asked, and Daehwi could only nod. He was led to a room far from the other elderly. “Also, Mrs. Lee didn’t had any child, she wasn’t able to bear as her husband died some years after their wedding. Even though it was like that, she kept on telling us that she has a son named Daehwi. We think it was just her imagination, but since you have the same name as his imaginary son, I guess it’s better if you take care of her,” the catetaker explained as they walk towards the room, she opened the door and calls for the grandmother.

 

“I told you, I’m not going to eat!” he hears the grandmother shouts. “No, Mrs. Lee, I’m not asking you to eat. I’ll just introduce you to Lee Daehwi, he’s another volunteer brought by Jinyoung,” the caretaker said.

 

Soon, they saw an old woman, sat on a wheelchair, peeking from the wall. “D-Daehwi? My son?” the old woman was in the verge of crying, and Daehwi blinks.

 

Daehwi smiles, and walks towards the elder. He heard the door closed, and it was him and the grandmother left. “Daehwi-ah, it’s you, it’s really you,” she pulled the boy, and hugs him tightly. He felt the hot tears dripping on his shoulder, but he didn’t mind it, instead he returned the hug.

 

“I’m sorry, my Daehwi. I can still remember your face, oh my kid, I missed you, why did you left me?” she cried. Daehwi knew he doesn’t know the grandmother, but he was hit by the familiarity. It felt like he has known her for a long time, she felt like the home that Daehwi’s always been wanting.

 

“M-Mother,” he whispers, it was too hard for him to say that, and he didn’t knew it has always felt so good calling someone as their mother. He pats the woman’s back, “please don’t cry,” he asks.

 

They stayed like that, until the woman have calmed down, and Daehwi helped her to lay on her bed. The boy sat beside her, as the older cups his face, “You’re face never left my mind, son. Everyone says you’re just from my imagination, but I could remember everything, in my heart, you’re always right here,” she points at her chest.

 

“Don’t leave me again, please? I’m sorry for all I have told you, I didn’t meant it, I love you so much. Don’t disappear again,” she whispers more _I love yous_ until her eyes became droopy. And she fell asleep.

 

He wipes the tears off his face before carefully standing up, not wanting to wake up the woman, he went out the room. He sees Jinyoung by the living room, smiling so sweetly as he talks with the other elderly. He looked at Jinyoung fondly, scrambling to get his phone, he took some pictures of Jinyoung. He was too focused of taking pictures, until he sees the boy looking at him. As if on cue, Daehwi’s ears turns red, and he quickly runs to the kitchen to hide his embarrassment.

 

“How’s it going?” Jinyoung asks, and the boy could only nod, remembering the scene earlier, he sighed.

 

“Mrs. Lee thinks I was her son, it was sad that the son she knew was only her imagination. I just hoped that I was her son,” he said, eyes on his hands.

 

He felt light pat on his shoulder, he looked up to see Jinyoung smiling at him, the boy was even more flustered when the older had patted his head. Daehwi soon returns the smile.

 

But the moment didn’t seemed to last when the caretaker rushes to them, “Mrs. Lee is missing!” she exclaims.

 

“What? What do you mean? I left her awhile ago in her room and she was sleeping and —” Daehwi paused, remembering what the caretaker had told him.

 

“We’re going to find her,” Jinyoung assured them, and they both nodded before heading out. The caretaker went to the whole house, while the two went outside.

 

“Oh God, if only I’ve been more responsible, this wouldn’t happen. This is my fault,” Daehwi mutters to himself, he was now crying. He covers his face as he sob, “What if something happens to her? What should I do? I should’ve stayed, this is my fault.”

 

He felt a pair of hands on his shoulder, soon he was facing Jinyoung, “we’re going to find Mrs. Lee, okay? It’s gonna be alright, nothing bad will happen to her, okay? Trust me,” the boy reassured him. Daehwi could only nod.

 

They’ve been looking for Mrs. Lee for an hour already, their legs are growing tired and Daehwi felt even more worried. Jinyoung had led him to a nearby forest, and they only had Jinyoung’s flashlight as Daehwi’s battery had died already. They were walking hand-in-hand, calling for the woman’s name.

 

A few more searching and they heard a familiar voice, calling for Daehwi, and the boy immediately runs to the sound, there they saw the old woman, next to a tree, sat on her wheelchair. Daehwi had runs towards her, and immediately hugs the woman in comfort.

 

“Daehwi-ah, I thought you’d leave me again,” she sobbed, and the boy shakes his head, “I won’t,” he whispers.

 

“I’m sorry, Daehwi-ah, I’m really sorry. It wasn’t your fault that your father died, okay? I should’ve told you ‘I love you’ when I had the chance. I should’ve cared for you more, I should’ve treated you right. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you how much you meant to me, I’m sorry. Don’t ever think of killing yourself again, okay? I can’t live without you, I just can’t. My Daehwi, don’t leave mother again? Don’t leave,” the grandmother begged, crying, as she holds Daehwi tightly.

 

“Daehwi-goon, Jinyoung-goon, thanks for all you have done, today. I’m sorry for the trouble,” the caretaker had waved them goodbye. They have rested after bringing the grandmother back to the house, and the caretaker was grateful for the two.

 

“Daehwi-ah, you’ll come back, right?” the grandmother asks, and Daehwi nodded, crossing their both pinkies together, “I promise, mother,” he smiles. And the two walked away.

 

The bus ride was silent, with Daehwi falling asleep on Jinyoung’s shoulder as soon as they hopped in. The other was left mesmerizing the boy.

 

Jinyoung had walked Daehwi home as well, and when they have reached Daehwi’s apartment, the boy immediately hugged the older. “Thanks for today,” he says. Jinyoung nods.

 

Daehwi was about to walk inside when Jinyoung pulls his hands, “Bandaids,” the boy mutters as he placed a pack of bandaids on Daehwi’s palm, it was designed with pink hearts and the smaller smiles fondly at it.

 

Then, Jinyoung leans in, kissing his cheek. Daehwi eyes widen, and he was about to ask Jinyoung what was that for when the older had pushed him in, waving goodbye and running away.

 

Daehwi bites his lips to stop him from smiling, but he ends up smiling from ear to ear even though he walked inside their home with Woojin yelling at him for going home late.

 

_I’m in love._

 

-

 

The first year after Jinyoung transferring had quickly went away. In a short span of time, Daehwi felt falling for Jinyoung even more. But then, he just denies it, albeit knowing the fact that he’s already in love for the older.

 

He doesn’t know if the boy even likes him as well, but he knew that there’s a possibility. Even the whole class would tease the two as Daehwi had never been that close with someone in a short amount of time. They say the both were match made in heaven.

 

Although, Woojin and Jihoon had became extra protective of their Daehwi. Woojin once talked to Jinyoung of how close he and the boy was. Jihoon did the same, but a little more rude. Pinning Jinyoung on the locker and placing a punch to his face, threatening the poor boy, and Jinyoung was truly frightened. Jihoon had to bow at the boy (Jinyoung would stop him, but the other won’t) as Daehwi threatened him (as well) that he won’t talk to him if he doesn’t apologize.

 

But, after that year, it felt like it was the downfall. Jinyoung had been ignoring him. He didn’t know what happened, or what might he have done for the boy to distance himself. Most of the times, Jinyoung won’t attend classes. And, when he does, he would completely ignore everyone, sleeping during lectures, and won’t be found when lunch starts. Daehwi tried going to Jinyoung’s house, yet he would find his home locked and with lights off.

 

It continued like that for the whole month.

 

Until, he grew tired of it, and decided to talk to the older.

 

“Jinyoungie-hyung?” he calls out for the older that one time during lunch. The boy ignores him. “Hyung,” Daehwi calls.

 

The boy stood up, and headed outside. It has always been like that whenever Daehwi approaches him. But, this day, he doesn’t want it again. Instead, he followed Jinyoung’s traces, and saw the boy going towards their school’s backyard. He climbs up the tall tree before jumping down, and Jinyoung was gone from his sights.

 

Daehwi lets out a small squeal when he saw the older. Afraid, he climbs the tree as well. He was athletic back then, way back before studying and reading became his new hobby and his body forgot how athletic it is.

 

 _The things I do for Jinyoungie hyung_. He sighs, he reaches the top of the tree, and when he looked down, he was now frightened. “Y-You just have t-to come down, Hwi, just jump,” he tells himself, but instead he closed his eyes and didn’t moved a bit.

 

When he finally gathered courage, he started moving, slowly. Until he felt no more branches on his feet, and the wind blew a little more stronger. Before he knew it, he was falling from the tall tree, to something soft on the ground. And he thanked the heavens for letting him be safe from his mistake, promising he won’t do it again.

 

“C-Can you move…” he heard something talk bel… He immediately jumps up, eyes widened.

 

“Oh my God! I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry, I didn’t meant it, oh shoot. I’m sorry Jinyoungie hyung,” he begs, eyes closed and palms sticks onto each other. The older boy only sighed before massaging his muscles.

 

“You know, you’re not really that good at spying. I knew already you were following me, you’re shining presence are too much,” Jinyoung tells him, as he brushes the grasses away from his body. Daehwi shakes his body instead, unfortunately, nothing drops. “Come here,” he commanded, and Daehwi follows. Jinyoung started brushing the leaves and dirt off the boy’s body.

 

Then, Jinyoung leans, picking the leaf of Daehwi’s hair and brushing the dirt under his eyes. He met the older’s gaze, and he couldn’t seem to read it. The only thing he sees was Jinyoung’s beautiful brown orbs, he felt as if it was piercing through his soul, asking something he could never read.

 

Jinyoung sighs, before moving back, grabbing Daehwi’s hand. With no words, he lead them both somewhere.

 

“Is this where you go everytime?” Daehwi asks when they arrived, they were above a small hill in a neighborhood not so far from their school, the sun’s still up, and shining. They sit below the only tree atop the hill, and there Jinyoung nods. They were met with another silence, this one, a comfortable silence.

 

“I’m sorry, Hwi,” Jinyoung whispers, Daehwi hums in response as he turns to Jinyoung, who was by the way, staring at him as well. “I’ve been ignoring you for a month, and I thought you’d grow tired of chasing me since I’ve been pushing you away. It’s just that… Just…”

 

Daehwi hushes him, smiles at the boy, “Hyung, you don’t have to apologize, it’s fine. And, I’d never grow tired of you. Besides, you don’t have to tell me what’s bothering you if you’re still not ready. I’ll always be here to listen, I promise, just don’t do that again? I don’t know what would I do if you ignore me again,” he said, cupping the older’s small face and wiping the tear mark on Jinyoung’s cheeks.

 

“I won’t leave you again, I promise,” Jinyoung says, smiling. They stayed like that for another minute, before Daehwi was about to go back to his original position, when Jinyoung held the hand on his cheek, leaning in closer, feeling the warmth of the boy’s hands. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, looking straight at Daehwi’s eyes.

 

Flustered, Daehwi managed to nod, and with that Jinyoung immediately leaned in, not giving any time for Daehwi to be ready for the sudden attack. Soon, he closes his eyes, as he felt his heart burst in joy.

 

When they pulled back, they felt their faces red.

 

_I kept on loving him deeper._

 

-

 

That happened back then, seven years and five months ago, Daehwi counted. He smiled, as his fingers felt the smooth paper beneath his hands.

 

“Hey, babe, how was work,” the taller male asks him, as he wraps his arms around the boy’s small waist, planting a kiss on his neck and cheeks. Daehwi lets out a chuckle, before putting the paper back on his pocket.

 

“It was fine, just a little too hectic since there’d be another comeback project, how about you?” he asks, and the male only shrugged in response.

 

 _He must have had a hard time in work again_. Daehwi thought, leading his boyfriend back to the living room. They sat beside each other, the taller male’s arms on the boy’s shoulder as the other leans on his boyfriend, he grabs the boy’s hand and tracing on the ring wrapped around the latter’s ring finger.

 

“You know that I love you so much, right?” he asks, looking at the male, who in return, smiled at him and nodded, pecking on his lips.

 

“I love you too, so much,” the male whispers before leaning more to the kiss.

 

When he heard it, he felt a tear run out from his eyes.

 

-

 

Everything would have been perfect back then, seven years ago, when Daehwi was still a student, not a producer.

 

It was all before Daehwi lived his new life, he wasn’t really a guardian angel. Instead, he was a reaper. But, he fell in love, not just that night, even way back then. With that boy who just jumped from the building. He looked at him as his body sways with the wind before his back crashed atop a car, and blood splattered out.

 

When he was about to reap the boy’s soul out, instead, he stopped the time. Fleeing out of the scene, with the boy’s body on his hands. There he had it all planned out, but everything costs a price. He broke a rule.

 

_“Reaper Angel, Bae Jinyoung, for breaking a rule, and violating your own power. We will take you out of your position, and will have to live in the mortal world for three years and eventually disappear,” the judge had said, considering Jinyoung’s pleas of staying to see Lee Daehwi for the last time, before he disappear._

 

Then, that’s what happened. As he gave Daehwi a better life, he was left with no powers, and he experienced the boy’s past life.

 

_“You’re such a fucker, you don’t deserve living in this world. Do you see that face? I really wanted to break that skull of yours. You’re disgusting,” the older male hisses, before kicking and punching Jinyoung. It wasn’t the first time, in fact, this bullying started way back. Even before he started ignoring Lee Daehwi._

 

_He lets out a scream when he felt a cigarette burns his skin. “Take that, asshole,”_

 

He felt the things Daehwi have felt, but he won’t give up. Even if this happens to him, he knew it was worth it. It was all worth it for Daehwi’s smiles. The way Daehwi lightens up, he loves seeing it. It was all for him, he looks at his side. It was a wall, but then in his eyes, he sees Daehwi, smiling, he hears him laughing. He smiles as well, as he felt numb.

 

_“Hyung, I love you! I really do! I don’t know since when, maybe when we first met? I just — I felt like falling. You’d always kiss me, and hug me, and act so sweet. Please accept my confession,” Daehwi confessed that one Valentine’s Day, with a chocolate on his hands, he saw the burned back of Daehwi’s palm, probably because of cooking._

 

_Jinyoung smiles, he was about to take it, when he felt his head hurt. He closes his eyes, ah, one more month left._

 

_He tries to act normally, even though he felt like his head’s getting hammered._

 

_“I-I’m so-rry, Hwi,” he said, before running off._

 

Since that day, he never went to school. He have grown weaker and weaker as the days were flying off quickly. His hands were now gone, so he couldn’t finish off the letter for Daehwi.

 

“Daehwi wouldn’t remember me, why should I even try?” he smiles bitterly, as he coughs blood, he kept on crying that night. It was an hour left, and his body was almost gone.

 

Tic toc, tic toc. The clock had stopped.

 

-

 

“Hwi, should we rename him?” his boyfriend asks, as they held on the small baby boy. “Should we base it off my name? Guanlin?” he suggested, and Daehwi immediately shakes his head.

 

Soon, they heard a familiar screams and yelling, their door bursted open, revealing a duo. “Our grandson, Daehwi-yah~ What is his name again?” Woojin asked, and he lets out a yelp when Jihoon smacks his head.

 

“He is not our grandson, idiot,” Jihoon hisses, and his expression turns to a soft one as he looked at Daehwi (the younger’s so amazed of how Jihoon changes his expressions quickly). “I still can’t believe you’d end up with Guanlin, I mean — he was too shy back when he transferred,” Jihoon said.

 

“Yeah right, I can still feel the pain when Woojin-hyung smacked my shoulder blade. Also, me forgetting my lunchbox was like a blessing in disguise, because if it weren’t for that, I might have ended up with another man,” Daehwi says, chuckling as he looked at his boyfriend’s unamused expression.

 

“You could end up with me,” Jihoon winks, and Daehwi squeals as he hugs the older male. The two other had pulled their boyfriends away from each other.

 

“Stop it, you are mine, get it? Even though I wouldn’t give you my lunchbox, you’d fall for me anyways. Remember how you continued chasing me when I ignored you?” Guanlin reminded him, and Daehwi nodded, “I just received such a lame confession from the lamest person back on that hill,” Daehwi teases.

 

“Yet, you cried for days,” Woojin deadpans, reminiscing the pain when Daehwi continued crying at the same time squealing that he managed to get Guanlin as his boyfriend.

 

“Anyways, what are you gonna name the baby? Are you still going with the same name?” Jihoon asks.

 

“Oh right,” Daehwi pauses, “There’s this name that seemed so familiar yet unfamiliar to me. Like, it has some kind of charm, so I’d love to name him…

 

Bae Jinyoung.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay so some notes regarding this.  
> (1) daehwi and his father got in an accident. daehwi was crossing the road when a drunk driver was about to hit him but his dad managed to push him and ends up being hit (the cliché)  
> (2) basically, jinyoung was reaper whp disguised himself as an angel  
> (3) there was some kind of a glitch on the universe that the new daehwi had went in, whereas his mother still remembers him despite resetting the whole story.  
> (4) so uhm with the last part, since jinyoung had disappeared, so the new dimension wouldn't break, they have replaced guanlin. so the boy was the one with the memories but the bullying stuffs never happened to him.  
> (5) there was some glitch as well where daehwi still remembered jinyoung's name.  
> (6) oh and i almost forgot to add this. the timestamp in the real universe stopped, that's why the council couldn't break the new universe anymore.
> 
> i hope y'all enjoyed it despite being an angst. dehet.


End file.
